Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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