I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
