Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
