You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
