another moral hangover. fuck.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
