um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
