gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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