All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
