the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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