He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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