Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
