I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
