I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
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