with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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