That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
