just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
