I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You left your phone here
Wait...
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