The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
