it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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