these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I fill condoms, not promises.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
