I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
