After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
