so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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