rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
