Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
