I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
