You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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