Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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