Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
