i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
