I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
the raccoons are back...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize