We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
