she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
