you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
