my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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