in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
