i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize