i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
