did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
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