Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
