VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
As shirtless as possible
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
