his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
