Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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