yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
