In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
