The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize