I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
