wat bout pragnant strippers??
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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