took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
