Buhtt sex?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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