addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
