She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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