Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
