she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
