mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
