I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
