I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
