i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
