If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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