Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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