some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize