I showed him my bush... on skype.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize