I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
