And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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