so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
