Where are you?
In a non slutty way
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think your dad took our porno
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
God, I missed his penis.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
