i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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