i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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